Women were crying, hitting their bodies to the wall of the room manifesting their feeling of sadness and loss. I kept quiet, remembering what my grandpa used to tell me… ‘A man never cries, crying is for women and it is a sign of weakness’. I tried to control my tears but all of a sudden they found their way down my face. I tried to be a man but to no avail and thus I joined the women in crying. Zachwas my close friend and I couldn’t believe I would never see him again in my life. I was filled with rage and resentment for who ever had killed my friend.
Mzuzu was very cold in nineties, and every day we used to go to Katoto play ground for ‘bouncing’ as we used to call it meaning to play basketball. A group of young boys would appear and show off their stylesof basketball. If you were a learner that was not your place, you had better joined your fellow learners in a different place in order not to be humiliated. But that was not all. Apart from playing basketball, Katoto was also a place where young boys came to show off with their girl friends. As if attached to each other, boys would hold their girls tight leaving no space between themselves. It was a place for love and everybody wanted to show off how beautiful their girlfriends were. The girls too, would dress so good to make the boys salivate. They would put on their sexy dresses that would expose whatever was necessary to make a man admirethem, not only that but they would shake their behinds and joke that it was their birthright to do so. We would laugh, make fun and make new friends. That was Katoto. For the guys, being a good basketball player was an added advantage to hook good looking girls. Girls would flock to you if they knew that you played well. That was exactly thecase with Zach. Which girl did not know Zach? Everybody knew him. His dribbles, dunks, lay ups… made him rank top among all of us. Most of all Zach never missed a shot.
But all this would be history now. Zach was no more. The story was complicated. Love, hatred, jealousy and then murder... This is how it happened:
Zach had been in a relationship with Mary for a long time. The two loved each other and everybody thought that they would tie a knot one day in theirlives. They behaved like husbandand wife. Everyday Zach came tothe basketball coat Mary was beside him. She would keep his clothes, wrist watch and a bottleof water as he shined with his skills. As we played we approached him with care because he would practice his latest skills on you. He would dribble you and everybody would laugh at you.
Being a star made it hard for Zach to avoid many other beautiful girls who came watch us train. Each new day Zach had new friends. It was because of this that Zach bumped into this girl. Her name was Catherine. We used to call her Cate in short. She defined beauty in both her appearance and behavior. Nobody would shut his mouth to utter a compliment if Cate appeared. Cute, gorgeous, beautiful…sweet words of appreciation never distanced themselves from her ear. She was a doll. The first time I saw her I had developed hots for her.Believe me I was not the only one…Cate had just that thing that makes a man approach a woman; she was a magnet.
Zach had known Cate for at leasttwo weeks now. One could already observe that the good news was in process; he was going to grab her in no time. They say stars never lack good things. That was the case with Zach. To everybody’s expectation rumor spread that Zach had succeeded with Cate. Zach was now going out with Cate. Not that Mary was not beautiful or had done some odious thing to Zach; the truth was that Cate’s beauty would automatically make a man forgethis woman for her. Zach was even taking Cate to Nkhata-bay for weekends. Nkhata-bay was popular in the northern part of Malawi for its splendid beaches which never lacked noise during weekends. Many people would go there to have fun. Newlyweds, old couples, everybody…
Mary observed a change in Zach’s attitude towards her. No more daily texting, they no longer flirted the way they used to do, no more window shopping together for the latest clothes in the Pep’s store and no phone calls. Something must be going on. When she called, cannot be reached was the response. Too unusual of Zach.
He had completely changed. Its normal in relationships, once in awhile people forget each other. But this time it was too much. When she tried to visit him at hisplace, Zach was always not available. He has gone with his friends, was Zach’s mum response every time she visited.
Schools had started and everything secret came to be revealed. Mzuzu university campus was too small to play games on two girls. Zach could no longer hide but confess that she was in love with Cate. This baffled Mary. She could not believe what she was hearing from Zach. ‘So what about me?’ she asked. ‘That’s my prob……….’ Zach responded while avoiding her face. She slammed her little soft palm to the wall in annoyance. Tears flowing from her face in large quantities as if they would no longer flow againfor the rest of her life. Zach triedto hold her arm but she resisted and uttered a strong ‘fuck u!!!’ that resounded into Zach’s ears as she walked away on him. She went straight to her room and drained from herself more tears.
Her performance in class went low. Lack of concentration triggered by depression accompanied her up to the end of the semester. Come results, she would be at the bottom of the class. D’s or D- would be her highest grades. Indeed when theresults came out, she was called to the academic advisor’s office. Her low marks were very unusual of her. When asked what was wrong she never told Dr Mark about her problem. As the academic advisor, Dr Mark did not hesitate to advise her to rewrite the two courses she hadunderperformed.
A week after rewriting the examination, Mary became terribly sick. At hospital they did not find any problem with her. The doctor presumed it was study stress and advised her to meet a counselor. She did not welcome the doctor’s advice convinced that counseling was for the mentally ill people. The whole country needed some education on counseling, because many people did not understand what counseling was all about. After a lengthy cajoling, Mary gave in for counseling. Her first session was not profitable, characterized by prolonged moments of silence. Anyway silence was also important during counseling sessions.
Time for holidays came. Mary could foresee already how boring the holiday would be. A holiday without Zach! A man whom she had dedicated her whole heart to. It pained her more and more when she tried to remember her past moments with the man who was no longer in her hands. Men are heartless! Her heart burnt with anger as she pictured Zach’s face. Something must be done.
Two weeks after the death of Zach, Mary rang her counselor. ‘It’s urgent, I can’t contain it anymore’, she said while sobbing. Availability is one of the qualities of a counselor. Mr John quickly arranged for an encounter with Mary. At least onthis particular Monday he did nothave many clients and therefore 2:30 was set for a session.
As she said tears kept on flowing, unfortunately, the carton which was on the table did not have any serviette inside, instead she used the sleeve of her blouse to wipe the tears away. Confidentiality is a prime rule in counseling. Yes confidentiality, but with some reservations. Mary had killed Zach out anger, jealousy, and love. He didn’t want to lose him. He wanted to live with forever. She had gone to his room. And as they caressed and kissed, she punctured his head with a bullet.
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