“I can beat that!”
“What, you got something better than my Uncle Walter’s story?”
“Better. And true. I have some serious doubts as to whether your Uncle Walter really had a cockatoo tear up his house. If you ask me I think his crazy girlfriend did it.”
“Yeah, maybe, but it’s still a goodstory”
“So is this. Once upon a long timeago...”
“Seriously !”
“Shut up, I’m telling this tale. Sooooo, it was Mothers Day and we, my Dad and I, were doing the right thing by visiting his mother”
“You mean your Gran? Is she stillalive, or have I missed the happyevent of her passing?”
“Yeah, still alive, or so I believe, besides the point. The point is we were doing our duty in worshiping the old bag when we got a call from the police. Ourshop had been broken into and we had to get back as quick as possible to see what had been stolen.”
“Healey Road or Jarron Road?”
“Neither, Keys Road Takeaway. The original and the best. Anyway, we got out of there fast. “Love you Gran” puke! Dad looked happy to be leaving too, despite the reason.
Back at Keys Road three cops cars sat out front. They must have been having a slow sort of day. It looked like a scene from aTV cop show . The thieves had broken in by chaining the front door, the metal bar kind, to their car or truck or whatever, then driving off at speed, ripping the whole thing out of the wall. A quick blow or two to the inner glass door with a hammer or something, smashed it and then they were in. It really was like a cop show. Although not quite CSI, maybe The Bill, ten years agobefore it got all whiz bang. Or remember Blue Heelers?”
“Yeah”
“Yeah, more like that. There was even one guy going around withthe fingerprint powder and brush trying to lift prints. Dad had a quick look around. Cigarettes and cases of drinks were gone. Everything else was fine. No real damage except the door. No money was left in the till so they couldn’t get that”
“So where was the mess? I thought you were going to tell the ultimate ‘mess’ story.”
“No mess in the shop. Well a lot of broken glass and powder but...”
“That was interesting but it doesn’t beat Uncle Walter’s mess in his house.”
“I’m getting to it. Geesh! Settle Petal. Ok, so Dad says to me, “Go next door and check on the house.” Remember how we had the only house on the street?”
“Oh yeah. That’s right. That was the best party house. No one around after five once the factories had closed. No one around on the weekends. That place was awesome.”
“I know. I loved living there. Andit was right next door to the shop. Very handy for getting to work on time but stop side-tracking me, this is a good story. Where was I? Ok, so Dad says to me to go and check on the house. He kept cartons of cigarettes in his bedroom too and they may have also taken them. He stayed put to deal withthe shop and answer the policeman’s questions. I walked through the car park, jumped our small front fence and headed up to the front door. As Iwas crossing the lawn I started to think what if they were inside? I mean I’m just a girl, they were potentially big nasty thugs, one thump and I’d be out flat. I went up the front steps and reached out to the door...
The door was open!
No way was I going inside! I ran straight back to the police begging them to go in before me. They were the heros. They were the ones who knew what to do if they met trouble. Not me.
I had two officers lead the way back to the house. I waited on the porch whilst they went in tosecure the area. I watched them shuffle through the open door and disappear inside our lounge room. The first officer came back out shaking his head looking all sad. “Sorry”, he said, “but it seems they have done you over. They have trashed your house.”
The second officer joined us saying the rest of the house wasempty and that the crooks had definitely rummaged through our belongings. “Would you please come in and look around and tell us what is missing.”
I followed them both through tothe lounge dreading what I might see.”
“Yeah,yeah, oh God. So what did you see? ”
“Well I followed him real close then once we were in the middleof the lounge I looked around. Than I looked around again. “Sorry.” the officer offered for the second time, but I just started to giggle. “That’s alright,”I said, “this is how our house always looks!” and we all burst out laughing”
“Huh...”
“Think about it...”
“Oh. OH ! No way! Really? Wow.”
“Yep. What the cops thought was a trashed house was just the way we lived on a regular basis. Turns out that the crooks had gone through the house. They took the cigarette cartons from Dad’s bedroom and some money we had laying around. Oh, and a jewelery box of mine that I only realised was missing when I noticed the square of clean space not covered by the thick dust that was over everything else.”
“Ha ha, good story! Not sure it beats Uncle Walter’s though.”
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