What are the gender differences that play out when it comes to managing jealousy within a relationship, we ask the experts. Your parents and also an ex might have a role to play
Recent reports that two of the late Osama bin Laden's wives were busy slugging it out, hurling abuses at each other in a prison in Islamabad, where they, along with a third wife, and eight of the late al-Qaeda leaders' children are in custody, might not have come as a surprise to most. The youngest of the bin Laden's five wives, Amal (29) is alleged to have accused the eldest wife, Khairiah (61), of leaking information to US officials, which led to the end of one of America's Most Wanted. Her motive: Jealousy, alleged the youngest wife.
"It's an absolute myth," says Dr Rajan Bhonsle, senior relationship counsellor from Heart to Heart Counselling Centre, when asked to comment on the role that gender plays in jealousy. "It is not gender that decides how jealous one gets."
Past studies determining sex differences in jealousy found that while both men and women were likely to feel jealous at one point or the other, their reasons were likely to be different. Men, it was theorised, were more likely to feel jealous if they found out that their spouse was having a sexual relationship with another man, while women were more likely to feel betrayed if the man was found to be emotionally unfaithful.
Scientists from Pennsylvania State University are skeptical of the evolutionary theory, and believe that jealousy is likely to have more to do with trust and emotional attachment. According to their hypothesis, men and women, who were more secure in their relationships were less likely to feel jealous, whereas those who were dismissive of the need for forming close relationships with others, or seen as being commitment phobic were more likely to be preoccupied with the sexual aspects of the relationship, instead of emotional intimacy.
Bhonsle agrees. "Jealousy is a very primitive emotion," he says, adding, "It is a common emotion in people who have low self-esteem." The step in the right direction, he says, is acceptance. "How you handle jealousy is important. People who are evolved or more mature are likely to sit, talk and resolve the issue," says Bhonsle. "To be able to love another, you must first be able to accept and love yourself."
According to a 2009 study published in the journal Psychological Science, which set out to study jealousy by measuring attachment style, 65 per cent of the 400 participants, who tended to be dismissive of commitment reported greater stress about sexual cheating than emotional cheating. 77 per cent of those who were more attached and committed found emotional betrayal to be worse than sexual infidelity.
Bin Laden, betrayed by first wife? No, says U.S.
On May 2, 2011, the man born Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden on March 10, 1957 in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia to a wealthy family was shot dead in his home in Abbottabad, Pakistan by the US Navy SEALs. He was the founder of the militant Islamist organisation, al-Qaeda, which claimed responsibility for the September 11, 2001 attacks on the United States.
Almost a year later, the youngest of the al-Qaeda leader's five wives, Amal (29), is reportedly at loggerheads with the eldest, Khairiah (61). Amal suspects Khairiah of revealing bin Laden's whereabouts to the US authorities, which she believes, led to his being killed. The two have been in custody in a prison in Islamabad, Pakistan, where they reportedly got into a fight over the issue.
Khairiah showed up at the bin Laden home in early 2011 and moved into the bedroom on the floor below Osama and Amal's bedroom. On being questioned about why she had come to the house, Khairiah is alleged to have said, 'I have one final duty to perform for my husband'.
There is, however, no evidence that Khairiah had any role to play in bin Laden's death. US officials have claimed that it was a courier that led the CIA to the Abbottabad house, in Pakistan after they uncovered bin Laden's location in a monitored phone call.
Not just gender: Personality, relationship history, also important
Do men and women feel jealous for different reasons? The answer is more nuanced than previously believed by psychologists.
Earlier studies on the subject helped found the evolutionary theory, which states that men consider sexual infidelity far worse than emotional infidelity.
Recent studies, however, indicate that there are men who might find emotional cheating far worse than sexual cheating. Personality and relationship history, and not just gender, also play a role when it comes to determining jealousy triggers in a relationship.
Recent reports that two of the late Osama bin Laden's wives were busy slugging it out, hurling abuses at each other in a prison in Islamabad, where they, along with a third wife, and eight of the late al-Qaeda leaders' children are in custody, might not have come as a surprise to most. The youngest of the bin Laden's five wives, Amal (29) is alleged to have accused the eldest wife, Khairiah (61), of leaking information to US officials, which led to the end of one of America's Most Wanted. Her motive: Jealousy, alleged the youngest wife.
Past studies determining sex differences in jealousy found that while both men and women were likely to feel jealous at one point or the other, their reasons were likely to be different. Men, it was theorised, were more likely to feel jealous if they found out that their spouse was having a sexual relationship with another man, while women were more likely to feel betrayed if the man was found to be emotionally unfaithful.
Scientists from Pennsylvania State University are skeptical of the evolutionary theory, and believe that jealousy is likely to have more to do with trust and emotional attachment. According to their hypothesis, men and women, who were more secure in their relationships were less likely to feel jealous, whereas those who were dismissive of the need for forming close relationships with others, or seen as being commitment phobic were more likely to be preoccupied with the sexual aspects of the relationship, instead of emotional intimacy.
Bhonsle agrees. "Jealousy is a very primitive emotion," he says, adding, "It is a common emotion in people who have low self-esteem." The step in the right direction, he says, is acceptance. "How you handle jealousy is important. People who are evolved or more mature are likely to sit, talk and resolve the issue," says Bhonsle. "To be able to love another, you must first be able to accept and love yourself."
According to a 2009 study published in the journal Psychological Science, which set out to study jealousy by measuring attachment style, 65 per cent of the 400 participants, who tended to be dismissive of commitment reported greater stress about sexual cheating than emotional cheating. 77 per cent of those who were more attached and committed found emotional betrayal to be worse than sexual infidelity.
Bin Laden, betrayed by first wife? No, says U.S.
On May 2, 2011, the man born Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden on March 10, 1957 in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia to a wealthy family was shot dead in his home in Abbottabad, Pakistan by the US Navy SEALs. He was the founder of the militant Islamist organisation, al-Qaeda, which claimed responsibility for the September 11, 2001 attacks on the United States.
Khairiah showed up at the bin Laden home in early 2011 and moved into the bedroom on the floor below Osama and Amal's bedroom. On being questioned about why she had come to the house, Khairiah is alleged to have said, 'I have one final duty to perform for my husband'.
There is, however, no evidence that Khairiah had any role to play in bin Laden's death. US officials have claimed that it was a courier that led the CIA to the Abbottabad house, in Pakistan after they uncovered bin Laden's location in a monitored phone call.
Not just gender: Personality, relationship history, also important
Do men and women feel jealous for different reasons? The answer is more nuanced than previously believed by psychologists.
Recent studies, however, indicate that there are men who might find emotional cheating far worse than sexual cheating. Personality and relationship history, and not just gender, also play a role when it comes to determining jealousy triggers in a relationship.
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